Kevin Cramer

Meet Cicero. Cicero was an Ancient Roman senator known for his intelligence and his eloquence. In fact, Cicero was so eloquent that many people still read and study his words thousands of years later. He eveninspired the Founding Fathers, with both John Adams and Thomas Jefferson (both sides of the aisle!) quoting him.

Right now, as goes online, we don’t know whether or not Congressman Kevin Cramer is going to be elevated to the Senate. God knows. And, if she were still with us, perhaps Miss Cleo would know. We do not.

What we do know is that nobody in their right mind will ever study Kevin Cramer’s words—not as an example of how to conduct themselves in the public forum. Not this year. Not next year, or even next month. Because there are some things that are simply so wrong that they won’t ever be right. Consider just a few of the words that have fallen out of the mouth of Kevin “Cicero” Kramer, in public, while speaking on behalf of the entire population of North Dakota:

Kevin “Cicero” Cramer went to a meeting about the Violence Against Women Act and walked out saying he hated that law so much, it made him want to commit violence against women and men :

Cramer said he wanted to “wring the Tribal Council's neck and slam them against the wall.”

Kevin “Cicero” Kramer said his crazy talk is just North Dakota talk:

“I know how North Dakotans think.”

Kevin “Cicero” Cramer forgot that the same Amendment that protects him when he’s being ridiculous also protects the media when they’re being ridiculous:

“I am alarmed by recent polls and studies, which seem to confirm that our national network news has devolved from fact-based journalism to surreptitious propaganda. Your FCC license and the liberty that comes with your First Amendment rights are not a license to broadcast anything you want or in any way you choose.”

Kevin “Cicero” Cramer revealed that he can’t tell the difference between being the victim of a violent crime and being brave enough to report it:

#MeToo is “a movement toward victimization.”

Kevin “Cicero” Cramer accidentally tarnished the man he was trying to defend and in the meantime reminded the world that he, Kevin “Cicero” Cramer, still has no damn class :

“Even if it’s all true, does it disqualify him? It certainly means that he did something really bad 36 years ago, but does it disqualify him from the Supreme Court?”

Kevin “Cicero” Cramer, aka Kevin “Mean Girl” Cramer, gossiped about ladies who wear white before Labor Day:

“But by the way, did you notice how poorly several of them were dressed as well? It is a syndrome. There is no question, there is a disease associated with the notion that a bunch of women would wear bad-looking white pantsuits in solidarity with Hillary Clinton to celebrate her loss. You cannot get that weird.”

Kevin “Cicero” Kramer, aka Kevin “ Purple Kush ” Kramer, would have literally riled up the entire country - if we weren’t all totally confused:

“Forty years ago, the Supreme Court sanctioned abortion on demand, and we wonder why our culture sees school shootings so often.”

Kevin “Cicero” Kramer, a.k.a. Kevin “Dad of the Year” Kramer, says you can take the kid off the playground but if you put him in a cage it’s the same thing:

“By the way, chain-link fences are around playgrounds all over America, all over North Dakota, and the chain link fences allow line-to-sight visual connectivity with children and families. There’s nothing inhumane about a chain-link fence―if it is, then every ballpark in America is inhumane.”

Kevin “Cicero” Kramer tried to crank up the controversy - even though it was alraedy at 11.

“It was an exciting day to be with the President, and he asked right out front, ‘Do you have any preferences?’ I said my only preference would be, don't succumb to the pressure to make this some sort of an affirmative action pick.”

Kevin “Cicero” Kramer ran his mouth in public about how The President of the United States asked for his counsel in private:

See item above.

There’s more, but our fingers are tired from all this typing. The question, North Dakota, is simple: Do you want six more years of this nonsense—on top of family members, neighbors, and friends losing healthcare coverage? Because Kevin Cramer isn’t going to get any better.

As Cicero once said:“Any man can make mistakes, but only an idiot persists in his error.”